Easter. A celebration of the day a bunch of murderous thugs crucified God's messenger. In every case since then, up to the present day, the messenger is 'shot' and a cover up begins. On the third day the murderers realised what a huge mistake they'd made, and thus the elaborate cover up was put in place. It has been financially convenient ever since. On the promise of joy after death, keep the poor down all their lives. The Archpip Plumtree is suspicious of this arrangement, he believes God wants us to live a happy life whilst we are here. "On earth as it is in Heaven", so let's start making our lives better while we're here.
Blessings and Blossoms,
Archpip Plumtree

'The Chronicles of Bruiser the Cat'

Now at the printers, a new little booklet that tells we humans what a cat thinks about 'The Fred', perhaps not a typical human being, but Bruiser coped.
 If you wish to order through www.winstongrit.com, then I the Archpip Plumtree, aka 'The Fred' will flourish my Schaeffer Gold pen, put on my plum coloured jacket, then ceremonially sit to inscribe and sign every requested dedication. Don't hesitate or paws, ask and you shall receive.
Bruiser was a lovely old fellow.
Blossoms
Archpip

tax threshold,

The revised 'plumpipificcations' will soon replace the present web.
 Do our revered leaders ever think about our feelings? The utilities have recently paid out dividends of many millions, and all but two of them have paid no tax at all, and they have only paid a tiny % of income.
This Archpip, on a net income of £11,500 pa, has to pay £230.00 in tax; or else. Why is it that non human corporations are treated with kid gloves, and we living warm blooded and lovely people get hit with a knukleduster.
It does not please the Plum Tree God, to see millions of people forced to pay taxes before their sensible needs are met. The 'unconcerned God' others worship ought get a kick up the bum, accompanied by a pointed request to get into the temples of tax avoidance and drive a few of these fat slugs out into the arms of the Inland Revenue.
Blossoms on all the poor who pay the cost of this slothful lack of dilligence, and a plague of maggots on the rotten plums.

The Law of Probability

Scientist now believe there might be other life in the universe, of course there is. And there are more suns than grains of sand on all the beaches of the earth the odds are there are many other inhabited planets. Each week, at a few million to one odds, there is a lottery winner. The problem with scientists is, they never buy a ticket.

Plum to Prune

Please accept the Archpip Plumtree's goodwill messages. Pure Pollen Preaching, and Joyful Juicy Jabs, place before you a picture revealing the dreadful effects of 'Premature Prunification.' This fate is easily avoided by all juicy plums[ good decent people]

Blossoms to all.

Health Alert

Greeting all Ripe Plums, The incurable ague of 'Premature Prunification' is not only a result of self inflicted pomposity, arrogance, deceitfulness; other odious unsocial behavior, and a tendency to engage in solitary sex: it can be hereditary. In such cases it is contagious.

Thus a golf club manager was born a little prune and grew into a bigger one, where his wrinkles deepened, his flesh dried up, his pip went soft, and his kernel withered. Cunningly diagnosing the symptoms of Premature Prunification in the club President and Vice President, he gleefully passed on the virus and they are now incurably infected.

Fear not Oh Sweet Juicy Plums; inoculate yourselves against this ailment by following the advice of www.happyacornclub.com membership certificate; don,t cheat or steal, tell the truth, be polite. Enjoy the fellowship of good happy sensible plums, share jokes and comradeship; and above all, take care of your knees.

A picture of the ravages of premature Prunification can be seen on this site.

Blossoms be upon you.

Archpip Plumtree. 

Plum Tree Faith: 'My Knees are my Children'

Shufti Sandals, our newsman on the ground in Arabia, files that the Archpip Plumtree carried out an exorcism at the Sandy Palms Golf Club. The Zombie was re-sealed into his sarcophagus with words of piety that are more quotebale than any uttered by either Pope or Canterbury incumbnet. As the top quality readymix was forced down through the foundations, into the coffin and squirted in towards the left auricular organ of the half dead monster, the Archpip piously and with feeling intoned; "Cop an earful of this you stinky bugger"
Blossoms be upon you.
Full story 'The Zombie at the Sandy Palms golf Club'.

Archpip Plumtree sings the song of the Prune. Dedicated to the prevention of premature prunification, this saviour of youthfulness burst into song. Coming soon; 'No matter how young a prune may be, it's always full of wrinkles. - - - - ' Sung in the sort of baritone voice that would make Tom lehrer cry.