Make Myself Better

Flat on my back with food poisoning, and in the hope of a little sympathy, I tried to talk to 'The Pinkness'. For some time there was no answer, and then I got the message that I was to "make myself better, then we would talk",
   My tummy was painful, with occasional bolts of lightning shooting across it. Bowel movements just gave enough advance warning to make the loo; just! They also adopted a 'chumminess' with my bladder, and I deemed it prudent to sit down rather than stand. This was provident, for every time I went for a pee, they made their own contribution, on one or two occasions with spectacular gusto.
Whoever described this condition as 'the trots' was exquisitely correct. It seems I've sat on that seat more times in three days of illness, than in three years of occupancy.
   The inspiration for the Plum Tree Faith, came from seeing the effect of clearing the clutter from around my plum tree, causing it to blossom and bear fruit. Of course I  wanted to pass this on to others, so that they could rid themselves of clutter, and live a happier life on earth. But thinking of the message from the 'Pinkness' I discovered I had the 'Tailors Son Syndrome', I'd asked everyone to get rid of their ill fitting suits of clutter, but mine which was the worst fit, I continued to wear.
   Clearing the plum tree made it blossom and bear fruit. Once it was free, all it had to do was switch on its automatic program, put there by a close relative of 'The Pinkness', and it bore fruit.
Regrettably, or possibly deliberately, we have no such software, we have to build our own program by using our brains, and my 'default' list is very clear.
   I live with a 'beer gut' weighing some three stones - not a millstone around my neck, but an 'alestone' about my hips. My legs and arms need to be strengthened, so it is diet and exercise for me. I have a dining table, but usually eat with a tray on my lap. Neither coffee nor whisky will 'refresh' a computer keyboard, and a spilled can of beer does not make a manuscript more attractive to a publisher. My filing systems are better suited to an orbiting space station, where one might snatch documents as they float by.
   I am bombarded with new ideas, and take off for the new before finishing the old, which creates thick files of various stories, novels, and cartoons, none of them ready for publishing. The perfect example dates back ten years, when I had sudden desire to lampoon the seven deadly sins. I grabbed scrap paper and a Biro, scribbled down some notes, fired up my computer, logged into  documents and wrote :-
THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS.
Sloth. - - - - - - -
And there it stays.
   Thus there is a need for me to 'Make Myself Better. After I've done so, 'The Pinkness' will resume talking to me. In some far flung celestial attic, there may be a spare Diadem, and should he let me borrow it, I shall write you some stonking prose.
Blossoms and Blessings
Archpip Plumtree
PS. Subject to the above, the Plum Tree Faith book will soon be on sale www.frederickwebb.co.uk