Sunday, October 28, 2012

Plum to Prune

Please accept the Archpip Plumtree's goodwill messages. Pure Pollen Preaching, and Joyful Juicy Jabs, place before you a picture revealing the dreadful effects of 'Premature Prunification.' This fate is easily avoided by all juicy plums[ good decent people]

Blossoms to all.

Health Alert

Greeting all Ripe Plums, The incurable ague of 'Premature Prunification' is not only a result of self inflicted pomposity, arrogance, deceitfulness; other odious unsocial behavior, and a tendency to engage in solitary sex: it can be hereditary. In such cases it is contagious.

Thus a golf club manager was born a little prune and grew into a bigger one, where his wrinkles deepened, his flesh dried up, his pip went soft, and his kernel withered. Cunningly diagnosing the symptoms of Premature Prunification in the club President and Vice President, he gleefully passed on the virus and they are now incurably infected.

Fear not Oh Sweet Juicy Plums; inoculate yourselves against this ailment by following the advice of www.happyacornclub.com membership certificate; don,t cheat or steal, tell the truth, be polite. Enjoy the fellowship of good happy sensible plums, share jokes and comradeship; and above all, take care of your knees.

A picture of the ravages of premature Prunification can be seen on this site.

Blossoms be upon you.
Archpip Plumtree. 

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Plum Tree Faith: 'My Knees are my Children'

Shufti Sandals, our newsman on the ground in Arabia, files that the Archpip Plumtree carried out an exorcism at the Sandy Palms Golf Club. The Zombie was re-sealed into his sarcophagus with words of piety that are more quotebale than any uttered by either Pope or Canterbury incumbnet. As the top quality readymix was forced down through the foundations, into the coffin and squirted in towards the left auricular organ of the half dead monster, the Archpip piously and with feeling intoned; "Cop an earful of this you stinky bugger"
Blossoms be upon you.
Full story 'The Zombie at the Sandy Palms golf Club'.

Archpip Plumtree sings the song of the Prune. Dedicated to the prevention of premature prunification, this saviour of youthfulness burst into song. Coming soon; 'No matter how young a prune may be, it's always full of wrinkles. - - - - ' Sung in the sort of baritone voice that would make Tom lehrer cry.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Plum Tree Faith: 'My Knees are my Children'

Plum Tree Faith: 'My Knees are my Children': 'Stand up for Christ's sake.  First verse from the gospels of the Prophet Osteopath'  in the Book of Ligaments. ['Your knees are made for walking']

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

'My Knees are my Children'

'Stand up for Christ's sake. First verse from the gospels of the Prophet Osteopath' in the Book of Ligaments. ['Your knees are made for walking, and that's what they must do, else one of these days the knees will swell; and walk all over you.' N.Sin. voc populii.]

Blossoms upon you Archpip Plumtree, spiritual 'Pip' of plumtreefaith.com'